16 Apr The challenge with constantly seeking better things.

The constantly seeking better things in life. I find everyone around me (including myself), always seeking something. In every moment there is a desire to seek pleasure or seeking to get away from pain.

This constant pressure to keep us in action is kind of creating us into robots rather than emotional and live animal, who are smartest on the planet earth.

• We seek good grades.
• We seek good job.
• We seek good pay.
• We seek bigger house.
• We seek better partner.
• We seek good deals.
• We seek better family.
• We seek good boss.
• We seek great wealth.
• We seek great relationship.
• We seek leaner and slimmer bodies.
• We seek less effort and more reward.

the list goes on and on. As you can see in the picture (Maslow’s hierarchy of needs) below , the seeking never ends. From the day you were born till the day of your death.

I’ll give you a real life example. One of my client, has put a tremendous effort to become leaner and stronger person after pregnancy. By her healthy routines of exercise and proper diet she has been able to stay healthy and keep the weight off.

So the initial seeking for her was to get this leaner and meaner body. Which she has achieved by hard work and consistent effort. Now the challenge she has is the fear of loosing this body, the hard work. She is seeking to maintain the body at any cost. The desire is so strong that she has this constant fear of gaining weight, not looking slim as she is now, people not appreciating her body. Due to this fear or desire, she is in constant stress. The stress has even caused ulcers in mouth (a physiological effect). Just because of having this constant desire to stay slimmer is causing lots of grief.

While seeking do have it’s own benefits but there is an another notion, which will give more richer and meaningful life. The notion of appreciation.

For the client I mentioned above, the seeking gave her the inspiration to get a leaner body. Although, now she has achieved it rather than appreciating she is fearful.

While we all are in this ‘seeking race’ together, we don’t have time to appreciate. Appreciate what we have.

• Appreciate what we have achieved so far.
• Appreciate the food we are eating.
• Appreciate the world around us.
• Appreciate the body we’ve been given.
• Appreciate that you are breathing.
• Appreciate that you are listening.
• Appreciate that you are reading this post.
• Appreciate the smell of flowers.
• Appreciate the relationships you’ve.
• Appreciate the kindness and gentleness of people.

There are lots of things to appreciate around us. You must have heard or seen the stories of people around us who don’t have the physical or psychological capacity but have achieved greater things in life. What they’ve done differently? They’ve appreciated what they’ve and made the best out of it.

Research after research suggests appreciation or gratitude does make your life richer, fuller and meaningful. Having the thankfulness will increase your happiness level. The three good things activity from positive psychology is all about appreciation and gratitude. It increases well-being and reduces stress by just savouring the good things in life.

What does seeking brings you? Seeking brings joy of achievement and fulfilment but it also brings fear of loosing, fear of failing to not get what we want. Seeking mode takes away the joy of what you’ve already created or achieved.

There are 1440 minutes in a day, would you be kind enough to yourself and spend 10 minutes in appreciation. Just don’t seek anything during that 10 minutes, just enjoy the sweetness of life. Appreciate a sweet memory or appreciate that you are breathing.

I appreciate you read this post.

Appreciating with kindness,

MP